1
00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:04,800
<i>Nigel Norman Fletcher, you have
been found guilty of the charges</i>

2
00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:08,680
<i>brought against you, and it is now
my duty to pass sentence.</i>

3
00:00:08,751 --> 00:00:11,446
DOORS SLAM, BUZZER

4
00:00:11,560 --> 00:00:14,120
<i>Cyber-crime is a modern menace.</i>

5
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:17,680
<i>A man of your obvious ingenuity
and intelligence</i>

6
00:00:17,680 --> 00:00:20,480
<i>might have used his gifts
on behalf of society.</i>

7
00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,909
DOORS SLAM, BUZZER

8
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:27,960
<i>Instead, you chose to employ them
in a pursuit of self-indulgence,</i>

9
00:00:27,960 --> 00:00:29,760
<i>greed, and gain.</i>

10
00:00:29,788 --> 00:00:31,257
CLANGING AND BUZZING

11
00:00:31,320 --> 00:00:36,680
<i>You will now face the consequences,
and go to prison for five years.</i>

12
00:00:36,806 --> 00:00:39,149
LOUD CLANG

13
00:00:39,360 --> 00:00:42,720
How you all doing out there?
Or should I say, "In there"?

14
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,920
This is National Prison Radio,
made by prisoners for prisoners.

15
00:00:45,920 --> 00:00:48,720
Later on, we'll be looking forward
to all the weekend's sport,

16
00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,600
but first, this from you know who.

17
00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:54,280
We should have our own radio
station. You know, Radio Wakeley.

18
00:00:54,280 --> 00:00:55,760
I could do that. I could be the DJ.

19
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,320
You have got the banter, Fletch.

20
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:59,280
Gift of the gab, that's for sure.

21
00:00:59,280 --> 00:01:01,400
I reckon I'd be good at it.
Play some good music,

22
00:01:01,400 --> 00:01:03,760
tell a few jokes,
I could even do interviews,

23
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,840
- I could do you, Joe.
- Why would you want to interview me?

24
00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:08,200
Britain's oldest prisoner.

25
00:01:08,200 --> 00:01:12,360
No, I'm not. There's an axe
murderer in Durham who's 86.

26
00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,600
86! How long's he been in?

27
00:01:16,600 --> 00:01:17,800
Two years.

28
00:01:19,360 --> 00:01:22,240
Two years?!
What, so he topped someone at 84?

29
00:01:22,240 --> 00:01:26,360
Well, it was manslaughter rather
than murder, so he'll be out

30
00:01:26,360 --> 00:01:28,800
when he's 110.

31
00:01:28,800 --> 00:01:30,320
See, this is what I'm talking about.

32
00:01:30,320 --> 00:01:32,560
Scintillating anecdotes from a man
who's seen it all.

33
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:36,760
Well, reluctant as I am to leave
this pointless conversation,

34
00:01:36,760 --> 00:01:38,080
I'm late for work.

35
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:40,480
- Why's it pointless?
- Because Meekie's not going to

36
00:01:40,480 --> 00:01:42,560
want to hear you gabbing off
every morning.

37
00:01:42,560 --> 00:01:45,120
He's got a point there, Fletch.
Hard to swing that one.

38
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,080
It's worth a try.

39
00:01:47,080 --> 00:01:50,400
I could do weather!
Weather and traffic!

40
00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:54,800
What traffic?

41
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:56,760
Clockwise congestion in the showers?

42
00:01:57,800 --> 00:02:00,080
I have got a bit of
congestion, as it goes.

43
00:02:02,227 --> 00:02:05,055
DOOR SLAMS, BUZZER

44
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,880
Welcome to Wakeley. By the time
you've got that lot off,

45
00:02:08,880 --> 00:02:10,880
you'll be halfway through
your sentence.

46
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,000
Yeah. Well, I get them back, right?

47
00:02:13,000 --> 00:02:15,560
I mean, there's some
good memories there.

48
00:02:15,560 --> 00:02:20,040
Oh, yeah, don't worry, it'll all
be locked away nice and safe.

49
00:02:20,040 --> 00:02:21,520
Like me, then, eh?

50
00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:24,480
Oh, no, no. I said your stuff will
be nice and safe.

51
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,120
I can't promise that you will be.

52
00:02:27,120 --> 00:02:28,720
Lot of nutters in here.

53
00:02:30,920 --> 00:02:32,080
I'm only joking.

54
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:34,880
Are you?

55
00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:35,960
No.

56
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:41,360
Good news, though - you're early,
so the showers might still be warm.

57
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,600
They're through there.

58
00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,880
Chin up, it'll fly by.

59
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,600
Really?

60
00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:48,800
No.

61
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,040
MUSIC PLAYS

62
00:02:53,040 --> 00:02:56,200
Ms Driscoll, turn that up, it's a tune!

63
00:02:56,200 --> 00:02:57,880
It's loud enough.

64
00:02:57,880 --> 00:02:59,710
Don't you like this music, Ms Driscoll?

65
00:02:59,717 --> 00:03:00,320
Not bad.

66
00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,000
What's your sort of thing, then?
I bet it's all Michael Buble

67
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,720
and magnolia candles round
your house, innit?

68
00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:10,360
What goes on in my house
is my business, Fletcher.

69
00:03:10,360 --> 00:03:11,600
Just making small talk.

70
00:03:13,800 --> 00:03:15,240
Very funny.

71
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,040
If you must know,
I'm a big fan of Take That.

72
00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,400
Oh, yeah? Who's your favourite?

73
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:23,400
Gary? Robbie? Little Mark?

74
00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:27,120
Not Howard?!

75
00:03:30,360 --> 00:03:33,160
Howard?! That's just wrong!

76
00:03:33,160 --> 00:03:35,560
I'm a big fan of Jason Orange myself.

77
00:03:35,560 --> 00:03:37,800
That geezer's got some serious moves!

78
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:39,920
ALL CHEER

79
00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:42,080
Shel! Shel! Shel!

80
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:44,000
What on earth is going on here?!

81
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:47,600
This is a place of work,
not a discotheque.

82
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,960
It's Fletcher, sir. He's playing up.

83
00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:52,240
Oh, why does that not surprise me?

84
00:03:52,240 --> 00:03:55,360
Charge of insubordination is not
going to look good on your record,

85
00:03:55,367 --> 00:03:57,087
is it, Fletcher?

86
00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:58,695
- Is it?
- No, sir.

87
00:03:58,726 --> 00:03:59,797
No, sir.

88
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:02,920
Turn that racket off, Driscoll.

89
00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:08,600
Why'd you do that, Mr Meekie?
That's a mad groove. Keeps us happy.

90
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:10,200
Being happy's important, Mr Meekie.

91
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:13,120
If we're happy, we're chill,
if we're chill, we're mellow,

92
00:04:13,120 --> 00:04:15,480
and if we're mellow,
we don't cause no bother.

93
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:17,320
No. If you're focused,
you're efficient,

94
00:04:17,320 --> 00:04:19,080
if you're efficient, you're productive,

95
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:21,400
and if you're productive, you're...
A loser.

96
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,880
What did you say?

97
00:04:28,880 --> 00:04:30,080
I said, "Yes, sir".

98
00:04:30,080 --> 00:04:33,720
Music is therapeutic, beneficial,
and increases productivity.

99
00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:35,360
According to who?

100
00:04:35,360 --> 00:04:37,720
The University of Omsk.
Or was it Tomsk?

101
00:04:37,720 --> 00:04:39,840
- I can't remember.
- What a load of tosh.

102
00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:41,960
No, I read it. So did Shel. We all did.

103
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,840
- Every word.
- I couldn't put it down.

104
00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,160
Melodious sounds encourage
the release of dopamine

105
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,720
in the reward centre of the brain.

106
00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,560
You're not here to be rewarded!
You're here to be punished.

107
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,520
Yeah, society must extract
its petty revenge.

108
00:04:53,513 --> 00:04:56,433
Yes, indeed. Speaking of which,
come with me, Fletcher.

109
00:04:56,440 --> 00:04:58,880
- Come with you where?
- The Governor wants to see you.

110
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:01,480
Does she want some company for lunch?

111
00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,200
You are one very small step away
from going on report, laddie.

112
00:05:06,200 --> 00:05:11,400
Now, apologise to Officer Driscoll
for creating a disturbance.

113
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,240
Sorry, Ms Driscoll.

114
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:15,680
Whatever I said, whatever I did...

115
00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:16,840
ALL: He didn't mean it.

116
00:05:22,240 --> 00:05:25,320
We have a new arrival who's
causing us some concern.

117
00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:28,200
We have his medical report from
where he was being held on remand,

118
00:05:28,200 --> 00:05:30,520
and he appears to be in some distress.

119
00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:32,640
- That's not surprising.
- What do you mean?

120
00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:34,920
Well, it's not exactly
Center Parcs in here, is it?

121
00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:36,560
Quiet, Fletcher.

122
00:05:36,560 --> 00:05:39,480
This prisoner is
suffering from depression.

123
00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:41,280
There may even be suicidal tendencies.

124
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,640
What do you want from me?

125
00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,080
We'd like you to be a listener.

126
00:05:45,080 --> 00:05:47,200
- A what?
- We want you to connect with him.

127
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:49,400
Get to know him
and monitor his situation.

128
00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,920
You want me to be a snitch?

129
00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:52,280
-- Not at all.
- Yes, you do.

130
00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:55,000
I become his friend, listen to what
he's got to say, then I tell you -

131
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,718
that's a snitch. That's
grassing someone up.

132
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,320
I did express a concern

133
00:05:58,320 --> 00:06:01,680
that Fletcher wasn't exactly
suitable for this assignment, Ma'am.

134
00:06:01,680 --> 00:06:03,480
I think he's highly suitable.

135
00:06:03,480 --> 00:06:06,000
Fletcher's one of the brightest
people in here.

136
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:10,440
Apart from that Oxford don who
poisoned his mother-in-law.

137
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:13,800
We wouldn't want you in any way
to betray confidences.

138
00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:16,160
Just watch for warning
signs in his behaviour.

139
00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:17,704
We'd have to move you into his cell,

140
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:19,720
of course. I don't know about that.

141
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:21,840
Being locked up all night
with a suicidal maniac?

142
00:06:21,840 --> 00:06:23,920
He's not a maniac, he's a depressive.

143
00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,240
Oh, that's all right, then.
Be a laugh a minute.

144
00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:28,920
There is another factor
you should be aware of -

145
00:06:28,920 --> 00:06:31,240
he's well known in certain areas.

146
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:36,000
What areas? Snowdonia?
New Forest? Hampstead Heath?

147
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:39,480
Professionally. Some of the
other inmates may recognise him.

148
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:42,800
Off the telly, is he?
Please say it's Piers Morgan!

149
00:06:45,240 --> 00:06:49,240
For God's sake, he's a rock star.
His name is Rob Strange.

150
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,280
Rob Strange? The lead singer with
Dirty Curtsy?

151
00:06:52,280 --> 00:06:54,840
- Whoever they are.
- I'll do what I can.

152
00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:58,120
Mind you, there is an unwritten rule
inside, relating to us and them.

153
00:06:58,113 --> 00:07:00,833
- Quid pro quo. Tit for tat.
- Meaning?

154
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,120
Meaning, what's in it for me?

155
00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,880
Let's just say I would
not be ungrateful.

156
00:07:04,880 --> 00:07:08,120
In that case, I'd like to start up
our own radio station.

157
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,720
Radio Wakeley. I just need a spot
to set up some gear,

158
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:11,880
and I'll be the resident DJ.

159
00:07:11,880 --> 00:07:14,320
Anything to get out of making
lobster pots, is that it?

160
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:16,200
Well, I couldn't do both, Mr Meekie.

161
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,599
I might be prepared to consider that.

162
00:07:17,670 --> 00:07:21,000
- All right, I'll do what I can.
- Thank you. You can go.

163
00:07:22,640 --> 00:07:24,240
When I get my radio show
up and running,

164
00:07:24,240 --> 00:07:26,440
I want to do a sort of
Desert Island Discs thing.

165
00:07:26,440 --> 00:07:28,960
You can be my first guest, Mr
Meekie, so start making a list,

166
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:31,880
but remember, you can only
have one Justin Bieber record.

167
00:07:38,560 --> 00:07:41,560
- Just arrived?
- Yeah.

168
00:07:41,560 --> 00:07:43,640
They give all the new blokes a mop
and a bucket.

169
00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:47,480
I suppose they think it eases
you in. I'm Fletch. Got a name?

170
00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,040
Just a number in here.

171
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,480
Yeah, still got to assert your
identity, though, ain't you?

172
00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:53,440
That's why we've all got
tattoos and haircuts.

173
00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,040
Got enough tats.

174
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,160
And you used to have a lot more
hair, too, didn't you?

175
00:07:57,160 --> 00:07:58,680
I know who you are, Rob.

176
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,800
I remember when you used to
look like this.

177
00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,280
Another lifetime, man.

178
00:08:06,280 --> 00:08:09,200
Yeah. I saw you play at the O2.

179
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:11,840
I went with my ex. It's a
special memory for me.

180
00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,280
Birthday or something, was it?

181
00:08:13,280 --> 00:08:15,600
The night before I got nicked.

182
00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:18,480
Yeah, that was a one-off
charity gig, you know.

183
00:08:18,480 --> 00:08:20,800
And the band sort of split up
after that.

184
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,520
- Creative differences?
- Partly, yeah.

185
00:08:23,520 --> 00:08:27,440
But I also swizzled the
drummer's old lady.

186
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:28,960
What, his wife?

187
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,080
No, his mum.

188
00:08:32,363 --> 00:08:34,941
DOOR SLAMS, BUZZER

189
00:08:35,120 --> 00:08:36,920
So what happened
when the band split up?

190
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:38,960
Oh, I was all over the place, you know.

191
00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,920
I didn't have a reason to get
up in the morning.

192
00:08:40,920 --> 00:08:42,800
Weren't you dating Miss Finland?

193
00:08:42,800 --> 00:08:46,040
That would have got me up
in the morning.

194
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,240
And probably again after
a bacon sandwich.

195
00:08:50,400 --> 00:08:54,440
I went on a six month bender.
I was really caning it.

196
00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:58,400
I got into crystal meth,
and then I ended up cooking it.

197
00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:02,240
- Where was this?
- Chipping Norton.

198
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,640
There's a crystal meth
lab in Chipping Norton?!

199
00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:08,200
Who were you working for
the Stow-on-the-Wold cartel?

200
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:11,920
No, no, I wasn't supplying, it was
just a bit of personal, you know?

201
00:09:11,920 --> 00:09:15,400
Years ago, I bought this massive
gaff in the country,

202
00:09:15,400 --> 00:09:18,880
and I was cooking crystal meth
in the shed at the bottom

203
00:09:18,873 --> 00:09:19,873
of the garden.

204
00:09:19,880 --> 00:09:20,766
In a shed?

205
00:09:20,821 --> 00:09:25,560
Yeah, and one night, I had
this terrible accident.

206
00:09:25,560 --> 00:09:29,960
The whole thing, you know,
it just sort of, like, blew up.

207
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,640
And the shed ended up
in the graveyard, OK,

208
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:39,400
and it demolished three headstones,

209
00:09:39,400 --> 00:09:41,760
and killed a cat.

210
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:45,600
Killed a cat! That's a year
on your stretch right there.

211
00:09:45,600 --> 00:09:49,160
- Heavy trip, man, being sent down.
- Don't worry, Rob.

212
00:09:49,160 --> 00:09:51,040
I think they're putting
you in a cell with me,

213
00:09:51,033 --> 00:09:52,673
so we can see it through together.

214
00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,600
You don't want to hang out with me,
Fletch. I'll just drag you down.

215
00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:57,120
Could be worse, mate.

216
00:09:57,120 --> 00:09:58,720
You could be one of Coldplay.

217
00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,400
- What are you doing?
- Moving out.

218
00:10:06,479 --> 00:10:07,221
How come?

219
00:10:07,280 --> 00:10:09,200
I've been tasked from above.

220
00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:11,360
They're putting me in a cell
with this bloke, Rob.

221
00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,640
I've got to report what he says
and how he behaves.

222
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:14,920
Oh, you're a snitch.

223
00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:17,400
No! Shh! I'm a listener.

224
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,480
Yeah, that's a snitch.
Lowest of the low.

225
00:10:20,480 --> 00:10:23,880
No, this is different.
He's got suicidal tendencies.

226
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:27,960
- I might save his life.
- Rob, did you say? I processed him.

227
00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,480
He's a Hell's Angel or
something, isn't he?

228
00:10:30,480 --> 00:10:34,593
No, he's a rock star, which makes me
the friend of a rock star.

229
00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:35,219
Mm.

230
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,440
He's in a big rock band
called Dirty Curtsy.

231
00:10:37,447 --> 00:10:38,640
Never heard of them.

232
00:10:38,640 --> 00:10:40,444
Well, that's hardly surprising, Joe.

233
00:10:40,451 --> 00:10:42,800
What was the last record you bought?

234
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,640
Da Ya Think I'm Sexy? Rod Stewart.

235
00:10:46,920 --> 00:10:48,800
And were you sexy in those days?

236
00:10:48,800 --> 00:10:51,000
Well, Deirdre Ennersly thought so.

237
00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:56,560
- All right, I have to ask...
- Oh, she were lovely.

238
00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:02,000
The bell rang, I opened the door
and there she stood, like a vision,

239
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,080
in overalls and a tool belt.

240
00:11:05,880 --> 00:11:08,240
I said, "Who are you?"

241
00:11:08,240 --> 00:11:14,440
She said, "I'm Deirdre, and I've
come to convert you to natural gas".

242
00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:22,240
Well, you dream of Deirdre
while I'm gone.

243
00:11:22,240 --> 00:11:24,360
And it's only temporary - I'll be back.

244
00:11:24,360 --> 00:11:26,360
Oh, don't rush back on my account.

245
00:11:26,360 --> 00:11:28,360
It's a luxury having a cell
to yourself.

246
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,760
I might keep to the bottom bunk,
though,

247
00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:33,200
cos if I go up top,
I might never get down again.

248
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,520
I won't be missed, then?

249
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:37,200
It'll be nice to live in a
fart-free zone for a change.

250
00:11:42,480 --> 00:11:43,840
All right, Rob?

251
00:11:43,840 --> 00:11:47,560
Yeah, yeah. You know the ropes,
Fletch - am I up or down?

252
00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:50,040
Down. We don't want you leaping off
the top bunk, do we?

253
00:11:53,520 --> 00:11:55,360
Oi!

254
00:11:55,360 --> 00:11:57,760
What are you doing?!
Those pills, where did you get them?

255
00:11:57,760 --> 00:11:59,200
Have you found a dealer already?

256
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,480
I got them off the MO.
They're my anti-depressants.

257
00:12:01,480 --> 00:12:05,040
Oh. Sorry.
I thought they were laxatives.

258
00:12:05,040 --> 00:12:08,240
You know, two blokes, one loo,
small cell - not a good idea!

259
00:12:08,240 --> 00:12:10,760
Probably a bit smaller than
what you're used to.

260
00:12:10,760 --> 00:12:14,880
Yeah. I went to a Buddhist retreat
once. It was either that or rehab.

261
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:19,200
I lived in this monastic cell.
It was smaller than this one.

262
00:12:19,200 --> 00:12:21,680
- Where was that, Katmandu?
- Warrington.

263
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:27,560
Well, hopefully that experience will
get you through this.

264
00:12:27,560 --> 00:12:29,480
Feel free to "Om" any time you want.

265
00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,080
They won't give me a hard time in
here, Fletch, will they?

266
00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,360
You know, because I'm famous.

267
00:12:33,360 --> 00:12:36,560
You're a rock star, Rob.
That's legendary status right there.

268
00:12:36,560 --> 00:12:39,520
Might have been a different
situation if you'd won the Bake-Off.

269
00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:44,554
- I'll bet you've got some good stories.
- I've got a few, yeah.

270
00:12:44,765 --> 00:12:47,205
You know, I'm going to get this
radio station up and running,

271
00:12:47,205 --> 00:12:49,125
and when I do,
you can be me first guest.

272
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:51,565
- Oh, what would I talk about?
- I don't know.

273
00:12:51,565 --> 00:12:55,285
The surprising sonic sensibilities
of Metallica's last album?

274
00:12:55,285 --> 00:12:58,845
Or just how about how many birds
you've had in a hot tub.

275
00:12:58,845 --> 00:13:01,405
- Seven.
- Brilliant.

276
00:13:01,405 --> 00:13:02,845
No, no, it was six, actually,

277
00:13:02,845 --> 00:13:06,085
cos one of them wasn't
"technically" a woman.

278
00:13:09,478 --> 00:13:11,580
DOOR SLAMS, BUZZER

279
00:13:14,245 --> 00:13:15,965
You all right, Rob?

280
00:13:15,965 --> 00:13:17,245
Yeah.

281
00:13:17,245 --> 00:13:20,085
- Can't sleep?
- I can't sleep

282
00:13:20,085 --> 00:13:24,525
because you keep asking me
if I'm all right every ten minutes.

283
00:13:24,525 --> 00:13:27,845
Sorry, mate. I know how it is,
first night inside.

284
00:13:27,845 --> 00:13:31,285
Desperate. If you need to talk,
I'm a good listener.

285
00:13:31,285 --> 00:13:33,005
When I say, "I'm a good listener,"

286
00:13:33,005 --> 00:13:35,685
I don't mean I'm a listener
who tells other people.

287
00:13:35,685 --> 00:13:38,605
I mean that I don't mind listening,
you know, for myself.

288
00:13:40,365 --> 00:13:44,645
Yeah, whatever.
I could kill for a smoke.

289
00:13:44,645 --> 00:13:48,205
I think I've got some gum somewhere.

290
00:13:49,365 --> 00:13:52,845
There was a reason I had my meltdown
when I did, Fletch.

291
00:13:52,845 --> 00:13:54,045
In the shed in Chippy?

292
00:13:55,165 --> 00:13:58,845
Something really heavy happened
after that last gig.

293
00:13:58,845 --> 00:14:03,645
This girl called Astrid comes
backstage afterwards.

294
00:14:03,645 --> 00:14:06,445
Swedish, she's about 22.

295
00:14:06,445 --> 00:14:08,525
She's studying Archaeology in the UK.

296
00:14:09,685 --> 00:14:12,813
I can imagine for myself, Rob.
Gorgeous girl in your dressing room,

297
00:14:12,829 --> 00:14:16,205
glass of bubbly, plate of
chicken wings. Who can blame you?

298
00:14:18,085 --> 00:14:20,245
She said I was her dad.

299
00:14:20,245 --> 00:14:23,965
No, no, go back to chicken wings!

300
00:14:23,965 --> 00:14:25,845
Yeah, well, I thought
she was trying it on,

301
00:14:25,845 --> 00:14:29,045
so I got security to haul her
arse out of there.

302
00:14:29,045 --> 00:14:33,805
And then I looked at my old diaries,
and I realised who her mum was.

303
00:14:33,805 --> 00:14:35,485
I was only with her about three months.

304
00:14:35,485 --> 00:14:36,925
So she really was your daughter?

305
00:14:36,925 --> 00:14:39,725
Yeah. And I blanked her out.

306
00:14:39,725 --> 00:14:41,885
And now it's doing my head in.

307
00:14:41,885 --> 00:14:44,725
Don't beat yourself up, Rob.
You can still find her.

308
00:14:44,725 --> 00:14:48,485
There are ways.
Let me have a think about it.

309
00:14:48,485 --> 00:14:49,765
How did you end up in here?

310
00:14:49,765 --> 00:14:54,125
I was a hacker. Top drawer.
Had it away for a while.

311
00:14:54,125 --> 00:14:56,885
Then I went on a binge
with this girl, Davina.

312
00:14:56,885 --> 00:14:58,965
She was gorgeous. Quite posh and all.

313
00:14:58,965 --> 00:15:00,685
Went to the same school
as Kate Middleton.

314
00:15:00,685 --> 00:15:03,445
- Oh, expensive tastes?
- Not many.

315
00:15:03,445 --> 00:15:06,525
I was ripping off credit cards
to pay for her lifestyle.

316
00:15:06,525 --> 00:15:08,605
Course, she dumped me
the day I got done.

317
00:15:08,605 --> 00:15:12,205
Took off with some Argentinian
geezer who plays for Man City.

318
00:15:12,205 --> 00:15:14,325
Lives in a mansion now.

319
00:15:14,325 --> 00:15:19,645
His and hers Ferraris, a helipad,
and a wood-fired pizza oven.

320
00:15:19,645 --> 00:15:22,365
And he don't even play
for the first team.

321
00:15:22,365 --> 00:15:24,085
I hate Man City.

322
00:15:24,085 --> 00:15:25,796
- Who's your team, then?
- Palace.

323
00:15:25,843 --> 00:15:28,725
Oh! I can see why you need those pills.

324
00:15:32,165 --> 00:15:33,925
As the newest member of the group, Rob,

325
00:15:33,925 --> 00:15:35,965
is there anything you'd like to say?

326
00:15:35,965 --> 00:15:37,805
I miss hair.

327
00:15:37,805 --> 00:15:39,205
Hair?

328
00:15:39,205 --> 00:15:42,085
He used to have a lot of it.
Tell her why you cut it off.

329
00:15:42,085 --> 00:15:45,069
I just wanted to get rid of the old

330
00:15:45,100 --> 00:15:46,925
Rob Strange and find a new identity.

331
00:15:46,925 --> 00:15:49,525
If I had your talent,
I'd parlay my pain into music.

332
00:15:49,525 --> 00:15:52,725
Write songs about it. That's what's
the blues is all about -

333
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:55,325
freight trains, cotton fields,
pain, misery.

334
00:15:55,325 --> 00:15:56,965
FLETCHER IMITATES BLUES RIFF

335
00:15:56,965 --> 00:15:58,365
? I woke up this morning... ?

336
00:15:58,365 --> 00:15:59,765
FLETCHER IMITATES BLUES RIFF

337
00:15:59,765 --> 00:16:01,765
They all start like that, don't they?

338
00:16:01,765 --> 00:16:03,205
FLETCHER IMITATES BLUES RIFF

339
00:16:03,205 --> 00:16:06,805
? I woke up this morning,
I missed the bus... ?

340
00:16:06,805 --> 00:16:08,325
FLETCHER IMITATES BLUES RIFF

341
00:16:08,325 --> 00:16:10,325
- ? I woke up this morning...?
- Fletcher!

342
00:16:12,205 --> 00:16:15,645
It'd be a blessing
if I didn't wake up one morning.

343
00:16:15,645 --> 00:16:18,565
Listen, mate, Irish is right.
Write about sad stuff.

344
00:16:18,565 --> 00:16:21,645
Of course, no-one minted more
out of misery than Morrissey.

345
00:16:21,645 --> 00:16:24,765
He turned a whole generation
into manic depressives.

346
00:16:24,765 --> 00:16:28,205
- No point. It's all been said.
- No, it hasn't, Rob.

347
00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:30,245
Your music spoke to the
disenfranchised,

348
00:16:30,245 --> 00:16:32,405
the disillusioned, and the downtrodden.

349
00:16:32,405 --> 00:16:35,165
- How do you know?
- I had all his records at uni.

350
00:16:35,165 --> 00:16:37,645
And I saw him live. Seven times.

351
00:16:37,645 --> 00:16:42,205
Seven times? I thought
you looked familiar.

352
00:16:42,205 --> 00:16:45,045
THEY CHEER LADDISHLY

353
00:16:47,045 --> 00:16:49,125
Can you sign my arm, please?

354
00:16:51,005 --> 00:16:52,805
It's not for me.

355
00:17:00,205 --> 00:17:02,325
Fletcher!

356
00:17:02,325 --> 00:17:05,485
- How are you finding him?
- It's a tricky one, Doc.

357
00:17:05,485 --> 00:17:07,765
He's a nice bloke,
but he's got a lot of baggage.

358
00:17:07,765 --> 00:17:10,965
Another victim of too much too soon,
much like myself.

359
00:17:10,965 --> 00:17:13,285
Would it help
if he worked alongside you?

360
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:15,525
Oh, no. Too much varnish
in the workshop.

361
00:17:15,525 --> 00:17:17,805
- Varnish?
- A couple of glugs,

362
00:17:17,805 --> 00:17:19,685
arriverderci.

363
00:17:19,685 --> 00:17:22,485
And I wouldn't let him have any
bleach when he's mopping floors.

364
00:17:22,485 --> 00:17:26,045
Yeah, good point. Are you finding it
a strain, Fletcher?

365
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:28,205
I can't pretend it isn't
a lot of stress.

366
00:17:28,205 --> 00:17:30,205
Like walking on eggshells.

367
00:17:30,205 --> 00:17:32,232
The only thing that keeps me going
is the thought of that DJ gig

368
00:17:32,239 --> 00:17:33,006
I was promised.

369
00:17:33,061 --> 00:17:36,885
You weren't promised, Fletcher,
and there are no guarantees.

370
00:17:36,885 --> 00:17:41,045
All I will say is that the
Governor is not ungrateful.

371
00:17:41,045 --> 00:17:43,005
Let me ask you something -

372
00:17:43,005 --> 00:17:45,765
did you have a little poster of him
up on your bedroom wall?

373
00:17:45,765 --> 00:17:48,045
A lock of his hair in a little box?

374
00:17:48,045 --> 00:17:52,965
- A tattoo of his name on your...?
- None of your business.

375
00:17:52,965 --> 00:17:55,765
And I had it removed
when I got engaged.

376
00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:02,754
CLANGING AND DOOR SLAM

377
00:18:04,525 --> 00:18:06,685
Visiting day today. Got anyone in?

378
00:18:06,685 --> 00:18:08,325
Yeah, Weasel.

379
00:18:08,325 --> 00:18:11,685
Your drummer?
I thought you swizzled his mum?

380
00:18:11,685 --> 00:18:14,805
Yeah, well, I wasn't the only one.

381
00:18:14,805 --> 00:18:16,565
Have you got anyone coming in?

382
00:18:16,565 --> 00:18:18,445
- Yeah, my ex.
- Davina?

383
00:18:18,445 --> 00:18:21,125
No, Karen, the one I dumped for Davina.

384
00:18:21,125 --> 00:18:25,045
I've got horrible feeling she's come
to give me a piece of her mind.

385
00:18:25,045 --> 00:18:26,405
That's a nice washbag.

386
00:18:36,085 --> 00:18:38,205
Now, before you start,
I'd just like to say...

387
00:18:38,205 --> 00:18:39,605
Start what?

388
00:18:39,605 --> 00:18:41,965
Well, you've obviously come here
cos you've got the hump.

389
00:18:41,965 --> 00:18:43,325
- I haven't got the hump.
- Really?

390
00:18:43,325 --> 00:18:46,485
On the contrary,
it's very good to see you.

391
00:18:46,485 --> 00:18:48,805
- Is it?
- It is.

392
00:18:48,805 --> 00:18:50,325
In here.

393
00:18:51,685 --> 00:18:53,445
Oh, I see. You've come
to gloat have you?

394
00:18:53,445 --> 00:18:54,725
Yeah, I have.

395
00:18:54,725 --> 00:18:57,325
- Can we just be civil?
- Yeah, sure.

396
00:18:57,325 --> 00:18:59,085
Is the food nice?

397
00:18:59,085 --> 00:19:01,965
- No.
- Good.

398
00:19:01,965 --> 00:19:05,445
Right, I'm done. Oh, no, I'm only
just getting started,

399
00:19:05,445 --> 00:19:08,245
- Nigel.
- I hate it when you call me Nigel.

400
00:19:09,325 --> 00:19:10,365
I know.

401
00:19:11,957 --> 00:19:19,837
You, Nigel, are an unfeeling,
insensitive, chauvinistic pig.

402
00:19:19,845 --> 00:19:22,805
- You devastated me.
- I know.

403
00:19:22,805 --> 00:19:24,725
And I'm sorry.

404
00:19:24,725 --> 00:19:27,845
I was selfish and I was stupid,
and I'm sorry.

405
00:19:29,965 --> 00:19:31,405
See that bloke over there?

406
00:19:31,405 --> 00:19:33,845
Not the one with the ponytail,
the one sitting opposite him.

407
00:19:33,845 --> 00:19:35,525
The one who looks like a bald
Rob Strange?

408
00:19:35,525 --> 00:19:36,965
Shh!

409
00:19:36,965 --> 00:19:38,845
That IS Rob Strange.

410
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,725
And he's paranoid
about losing his barnet.

411
00:19:41,725 --> 00:19:44,765
Well, they've put me in a cell
with him. Got to know him a bit.

412
00:19:44,765 --> 00:19:48,725
Now, he really has lost everything.
House, wife, money.

413
00:19:48,725 --> 00:19:51,765
- Hair.
- Shh!

414
00:19:51,765 --> 00:19:54,205
I used to love Rob Strange.

415
00:19:54,205 --> 00:19:56,725
Such a shame to see him like this.

416
00:19:56,725 --> 00:19:59,845
You know what?
You could do me a favour.

417
00:20:01,925 --> 00:20:04,005
Him, do HIM a favour, not me.

418
00:20:07,325 --> 00:20:08,731
- Strange.
- You what?

419
00:20:08,841 --> 00:20:09,872
How is he?

420
00:20:09,925 --> 00:20:11,405
He's still alive.

421
00:20:11,405 --> 00:20:14,125
No small feat when you consider how
easy it is to get a weapon in here.

422
00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:15,925
How is his general demeanour?

423
00:20:15,925 --> 00:20:17,925
Well, he's in prison,
so he's been better.

424
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,205
I have an idea that might
accelerate his recovery.

425
00:20:20,212 --> 00:20:20,965
Go on.

426
00:20:20,965 --> 00:20:23,230
Transfer him to the hospital wing,
and put me in the bed next to him.

427
00:20:23,269 --> 00:20:25,725
- Nice try, Fletcher.
- I'm just putting it out there.

428
00:20:25,725 --> 00:20:28,365
I know you'd never forgive yourself
if anything happened to him.

429
00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:30,464
Stop trying to manipulate everything
to your own advantage.

430
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:32,521
Nothing much else to do in here.

431
00:20:32,521 --> 00:20:36,161
I need to ask you a... favour.

432
00:20:36,161 --> 00:20:38,841
- A what?
- A favour.

433
00:20:38,841 --> 00:20:40,921
Is it one that I can manipulate
to me own advantage?

434
00:20:40,921 --> 00:20:42,321
Oh, for God's sake, man!

435
00:20:42,321 --> 00:20:46,281
I want you to ask Prisoner Strange
to autograph these.

436
00:20:46,281 --> 00:20:47,961
Rock fan, Mr Meekie! Who knew?

437
00:20:47,961 --> 00:20:49,961
Do I look like a rock fan?

438
00:20:53,361 --> 00:20:55,641
I despise the music,
the lyrics are offensive,

439
00:20:55,641 --> 00:20:57,121
the ones you can understand.

440
00:20:57,121 --> 00:20:59,944
Maybe you should ask him yourself.
You've got a way with words.

441
00:21:00,037 --> 00:21:03,001
- Perhaps not. Best wishes to...?
- Doon..

442
00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:08,481
No. Doon.

443
00:21:08,481 --> 00:21:10,841
It's the name of my wife.

444
00:21:10,841 --> 00:21:13,161
Ah. Big fan, is she?

445
00:21:13,161 --> 00:21:15,001
In her youth, yes.

446
00:21:15,001 --> 00:21:17,761
- Did she ever see them live?
- I gather she saw them a few times.

447
00:21:17,761 --> 00:21:20,521
- Did she ever go backstage?
- I know where you're going with this!

448
00:21:22,121 --> 00:21:22,811
And don't!

449
00:21:22,818 --> 00:21:24,881
I seem to be doing
everyone favours these days.

450
00:21:24,881 --> 00:21:26,180
Hope this'll be noted on my record.

451
00:21:26,187 --> 00:21:27,961
The Governor will not be ungrateful.

452
00:21:27,961 --> 00:21:30,161
And if you get those signed,
neither will I.

453
00:21:34,841 --> 00:21:37,521
ATTEMPTED SCOTTISH ACCENT: The
Governor will not be ungrateful.

454
00:21:37,521 --> 00:21:39,961
I think they're my favourite
words in the English language.

455
00:21:39,961 --> 00:21:43,961
Right up there with, "Mr Fletcher,
we're upgrading you to first class".

456
00:21:43,961 --> 00:21:48,961
Mine would be "Not guilty,
Lotterby, case dismissed".

457
00:21:48,961 --> 00:21:52,881
That's a good one, yeah. Or how
about, "This is the concierge.

458
00:21:52,881 --> 00:21:55,841
"Miss Scarlett Johansson
would like to see you in the suite".

459
00:21:55,841 --> 00:21:58,361
- Who?
- Scarlett Johansson. She...

460
00:21:58,361 --> 00:22:00,561
Oh, don't worry,
it's a sexual thing, Joe.

461
00:22:00,561 --> 00:22:03,961
You're a bit out of touch with that
since Deirdre from the Gas Board.

462
00:22:05,001 --> 00:22:08,681
That's where you're wrong. There was
conjugal visits in me last nick.

463
00:22:08,681 --> 00:22:11,441
I've had it off a lot more recent
than you think.

464
00:22:11,441 --> 00:22:13,081
Yeah? How recent?

465
00:22:13,081 --> 00:22:16,081
July the 27th.

466
00:22:16,081 --> 00:22:17,881
1998.

467
00:22:20,401 --> 00:22:21,441
Morning, all.

468
00:22:21,441 --> 00:22:24,121
You're listening to radio
made by prisoners for prisoners.

469
00:22:24,121 --> 00:22:26,641
The M25 is gridlocked,
the pound's sinking,

470
00:22:26,641 --> 00:22:28,481
there's a Tube strike tomorrow.

471
00:22:28,481 --> 00:22:30,881
Trust me, lads -
you're better off inside.

472
00:22:43,521 --> 00:22:45,881
Thanks for doing this,
Karen, I'm really grateful.

473
00:22:45,881 --> 00:22:48,281
Oh, I'm not doing it for you.
I'm doing it for Rob.

474
00:22:48,281 --> 00:22:52,161
Well, maybe this can start
the process of healing between us.

475
00:22:52,161 --> 00:22:56,881
Easy to talk about healing when
you're not the one who was wounded.

476
00:22:56,881 --> 00:22:59,601
You're not the one who had a stake
through your heart

477
00:22:59,601 --> 00:23:01,761
with your entrails
bleeding on the floor...

478
00:23:01,761 --> 00:23:05,281
All right, keep it light. Look,
I said I'm sorry, and I meant it.

479
00:23:05,281 --> 00:23:07,241
Do you want me to come again?

480
00:23:07,241 --> 00:23:09,001
Erm...

481
00:23:09,001 --> 00:23:10,641
Well, I just think that seeing me

482
00:23:10,641 --> 00:23:13,921
seems to remind you of so much hurt
and betrayal, you know?

483
00:23:13,921 --> 00:23:17,881
I just think it's so much better... for your sake, not for mine

484
00:23:17,881 --> 00:23:20,921
that we make some space between us.

485
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:22,441
You're probably right.

486
00:23:22,441 --> 00:23:23,601
Really?

487
00:23:23,601 --> 00:23:27,441
Well, I mean, if that's your
decision, then

488
00:23:27,441 --> 00:23:30,201
I guess I'll just have to live with it.

489
00:23:30,201 --> 00:23:34,041
Oh, er, I got you this.

490
00:23:34,041 --> 00:23:35,561
I don't like white chocolate.

491
00:23:35,561 --> 00:23:37,841
I know. Bye, Nigel.

492
00:23:39,521 --> 00:23:42,281
ALARM SOUNDS

493
00:23:42,281 --> 00:23:46,521
Visiting time's over. Prisoners,
return to their cell blocks.

494
00:23:52,401 --> 00:23:54,441
Do you think somebody's
gone over the wall?

495
00:23:54,441 --> 00:23:56,121
- In the middle of the afternoon?
- Well...

496
00:23:56,121 --> 00:23:58,241
It's your rock star mate.
He's on the roof.

497
00:24:02,321 --> 00:24:04,761
Stay exactly where you are, Strange!

498
00:24:06,801 --> 00:24:09,601
Excuse me, Governor.
Fletcher here thinks he can help.

499
00:24:09,601 --> 00:24:11,401
- Really?
- Well, you've hardly helped so far.

500
00:24:11,401 --> 00:24:14,281
You were supposed to be
monitoring his condition, Fletcher.

501
00:24:14,281 --> 00:24:16,721
I did, Doc. But something's
triggered this.

502
00:24:16,721 --> 00:24:18,201
Let me go up there and talk to him.

503
00:24:18,201 --> 00:24:21,961
Governor, the only person qualified
to negotiate in this situation

504
00:24:21,961 --> 00:24:25,441
- is Dr Marsden.
- Unfortunately, I can't.

505
00:24:25,441 --> 00:24:30,081
I haven't completed my safe
working at heights training.

506
00:24:30,081 --> 00:24:31,961
Don't do anything you'll regret later!

507
00:24:31,961 --> 00:24:33,681
He won't regret anything if he jumps.

508
00:24:33,681 --> 00:24:36,161
He'll be splattered all over the
concrete. Let me go up there.

509
00:24:36,161 --> 00:24:38,081
I've got some info that
might make a difference.

510
00:24:38,088 --> 00:24:38,721
What info?

511
00:24:38,721 --> 00:24:41,881
It's between him and me, Gov.
Trust me, I can do this.

512
00:24:41,881 --> 00:24:44,921
Governor, I must protest in the
strongest possible terms.

513
00:24:44,921 --> 00:24:47,721
This is a total breach of
prison protocol.

514
00:24:47,721 --> 00:24:50,761
You're right, Meekie.
It's far too dangerous up there.

515
00:24:50,761 --> 00:24:55,681
It's wet, slippery,
you could fall to your death.

516
00:24:55,681 --> 00:24:57,161
Fair enough.

517
00:24:57,161 --> 00:24:59,281
On second thoughts,
let's give Fletcher a chance.

518
00:25:07,841 --> 00:25:10,161
- What are you doing here?
- Oh, sorry.

519
00:25:10,161 --> 00:25:13,201
I didn't realise you were up here.
I was looking for someone else.

520
00:25:13,201 --> 00:25:14,881
Don't leave me, Fletch!

521
00:25:14,881 --> 00:25:17,361
It's all right, I'm here.

522
00:25:19,001 --> 00:25:20,801
Nice view, innit?

523
00:25:20,801 --> 00:25:23,721
On a clear day, you can
almost see the glue factory.

524
00:25:23,721 --> 00:25:27,481
Stop making jokes, Fletch.
I can't stand this.

525
00:25:27,481 --> 00:25:29,641
Can we have this conversation
somewhere else?

526
00:25:29,641 --> 00:25:33,161
Don't come any closer.
My mind's made up.

527
00:25:33,161 --> 00:25:35,161
I can't hack feeling like this.

528
00:25:35,161 --> 00:25:39,481
Even if I do my stretch, what's
waiting for me when I get out?

529
00:25:39,481 --> 00:25:41,881
Well, there's your daughter.
What you talking about?

530
00:25:41,881 --> 00:25:45,066
- I got my ex to trace her.
- Really?

531
00:25:45,601 --> 00:25:48,961
They've made contact on Facebook,
and they've spoken on the phone.

532
00:25:48,961 --> 00:25:50,241
She wants to see you, Rob.

533
00:25:58,681 --> 00:26:01,601
You're not having me on,
are you, Fletch?

534
00:26:01,601 --> 00:26:05,361
I swear to God.
Now, can we go downstairs?

535
00:26:05,361 --> 00:26:08,801
It's fish pie tonight.
Best meal of the week,

536
00:26:08,801 --> 00:26:11,481
if you don't eat the fish. Come on.

537
00:26:13,641 --> 00:26:16,641
- Help me! Rob!
- I can't, it's too dangerous!

538
00:26:16,641 --> 00:26:20,521
- I might fall to my death!
- Rob, please! Take my hand!

539
00:26:20,521 --> 00:26:23,721
Whatever you do, don't look down!

540
00:26:24,881 --> 00:26:29,241
FLETCHER GRUNTS AND MOANS

541
00:26:30,601 --> 00:26:33,321
Oh, you! Oh!

542
00:26:34,881 --> 00:26:36,641
Did you slip?

543
00:26:40,001 --> 00:26:43,801
I'd like to thank you, Fletcher, on
behalf of myself and all the staff.

544
00:26:43,801 --> 00:26:45,041
What's going to happen to him?

545
00:26:45,041 --> 00:26:48,241
He's in hospital, and his daughter's
already arranged to visit.

546
00:26:48,241 --> 00:26:50,641
I'm recommending that he's
transferred to an open prison.

547
00:26:50,641 --> 00:26:53,281
Good idea. Much more
amenable to recovery, that.

548
00:26:53,281 --> 00:26:57,321
I should go with him.
We can take tennis lessons together.

549
00:26:57,321 --> 00:26:59,081
That's not going to happen,

550
00:26:59,081 --> 00:27:01,601
but I am aware that we owe you
a debt of gratitude.

551
00:27:01,601 --> 00:27:03,721
Well, if you remember,
I had a thought about that.

552
00:27:03,721 --> 00:27:05,081
You did indeed.

553
00:27:05,081 --> 00:27:08,161
It's good to have you safely back
down in one piece, Fletcher.

554
00:27:08,161 --> 00:27:11,961
- Isn't it, Mr Meekie?
- Oh...

555
00:27:15,401 --> 00:27:20,641
Wakey, wakey, this is Radio
Wakeley, with me, Fletch!

556
00:27:20,641 --> 00:27:23,481
This is The Breakfast Show, you'll
be waking up with me every morning.

557
00:27:23,481 --> 00:27:24,881
No, not like that!

558
00:27:24,881 --> 00:27:27,721
Today, we're saying goodbye to
our mate, Rob Strange.

559
00:27:27,721 --> 00:27:30,441
He's off to an open prison.
Good luck, Rob.

560
00:27:30,441 --> 00:27:31,921
He's left some signed CDs

561
00:27:31,921 --> 00:27:34,601
for those of you who didn't get a
chance to shake his hand in person.

562
00:27:34,601 --> 00:27:37,681
To win yourself one, you've just got
to answer this one question -

563
00:27:37,681 --> 00:27:42,281
how many times did Mr Meekie's wife
go backstage with Rob and his band?

564
00:27:42,281 --> 00:27:45,481
Was it A, five times, B, six times,

565
00:27:45,481 --> 00:27:47,841
or C, 13 times?

566
00:27:49,161 --> 00:27:51,721
While you think about that,
here's Status Quo...

567
00:27:51,721 --> 00:27:54,481
SCOTTISH ACCENT:
..with Doon, Doon, Deeper And Doon.

568
00:27:54,940 --> 00:28:00,299
Corrected and Synced by Bakugan

569
00:28:00,349 --> 00:28:04,899
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0


